Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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