You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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