3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All the doctor said was why
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
