Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
