Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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