shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
