man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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