Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
