Your face is a jimmy john
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
