i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
