Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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