It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize