the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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