There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
...so i touched it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize