Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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