HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
