we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
