Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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