We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
