Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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