I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want to make out with him forever
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
