he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
