Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
