I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
