Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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