Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
