On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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