maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
