I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
