Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
