there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize