i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
