Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
