bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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