Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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