Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
