haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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