i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
