...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he thought i was a dude.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
