Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
