All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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