girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
