I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize