She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
