They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
