I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
