He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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