the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
