it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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