I want to have your abortion
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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