Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
