Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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