I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You made out with two different species that night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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