If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
