Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
