p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
