Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
