if only i could text you this smell
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
