direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
